Women live in a limiting society where their skills and voices are constantly suppressed. Alice Pryor and Haseena Shaheed-Jackson are actively supporting women to rise from their ashes and embrace their own idea of success through their organization, Ava’s Pathways. In this episode, they present their various programs that help women break through the invisible chains and achieve genuine growth in their personal relationships and professional lives. Alice and Haseena also discuss what it takes for women to rise to the challenge and prove their worth without losing grip on their unique feminine energy.
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Supporting Women To Success With Alice Pryor
Meeting Each Other
I’m excited to have you as my guest here. Alice is my partner, friend, and the Co-founder of Ava’s Pathways. We’ll tell the story of how we met because this whole segment is about our discovery, self-awareness, and how we have come together to live in purpose. Let’s get started talking about ourselves or wellness because it’s about self-confidence, self-efficacy, balancing, and committing to personal growth. Alice, tell me about you. Tell me, why are you my partner? What brought you here?
You and I were introduced through a mutual friend. My girlfriend was like, “You need to get better at networking.” She connected me with you. It is not often in life that you feel a certain affinity for someone. Despite how different we are in many ways, there is a huge sameness in what we value. That’s been a big foundational part for us. For several years, we’ve met monthly and talked about business woes and some personal woes, but the focus has always been on leveling up and becoming a better me.
We’re breaking those barriers and not allowing others to keep us in a box, telling us that we have to be a certain way because I remember a lot of our discussions. I think about the day that I called you up because I had the opportunity to speak at Logan Correctional Facility to a group of women. It was a woman there who had been incarcerated for 35 years. I was like, “What are you going to do?”
First of all, I couldn’t even fathom what you could have done that someone would put you away for 35 years. My immediate thought was, “How is she going to get out and become back acclimated to this world?” I’m still going to school for my Master’s in Human Services. God said, “It’s because you’re going to help her. That’s why you’re going to school. You’re going to create an organization that’s going to help women go through and above their life challenges and adversities. I remember that time we were haggling over the phone over the name of this organization. Do you remember that discussion?
The Googling involved, yes, I do. That was funny because naming an organization is not easy. Finding a unique name is even harder. We had to think outside the box about what we were trying to create and look up Latin words.
Ava’s Pathways
We settled on Ava’s Pathways. Let me speak to the Pathways part, and I’m going to let you speak to Ava’s Pathways. I like to walk and run. I go on paths that are rocky, smooth, muddy, and all these different elements. The whole point is that I get to choose my path. There’s no dictator. There’s nobody telling me which way I have to go. I want to be that thinking partner for that woman who gets to choose her own pathway. She can go whatever way she wants to go, but I can be that aide to help her find and discover the path that’s for her. That was the pathways part. “How do we come up with Ava?” Tell me, what is Ava?
Ava in Latin is bird or bird-like. We were hyper-focused on a phoenix rising out of the ashes. In our logo, there is now a feminine-looking phoenix-type bird. This was a piece that I related to most. I had to burn my life down and start over in the most extreme ways possible, which is why when you called me about Ava’s Pathways, I said, “Yes before you could finish.” You’re like, “I haven’t even told you everything. It doesn’t matter.”
Committing to be there as a mentor or in service or however I need to be to other women, I know how terrible it is to go through it and have to start over. That means creating new communities and friendships. The thing that is hardest about that is finding yourself, who you are, what your purpose is, and disallowing yourself from those labels of wife, mother, child, and coworker that keep you stuck in a version of you that you did not author. That’s about creating that new pathway. You’re finally authoring the path that’s right for you. It’s not something that benefits somebody else. It benefits you.
Wellness Series
You always are able to put it together. I’ll do the warm and fuzzy story. That’s why we complement each other well. From Ava’s Pathways, we have developed a couple of different curriculums. Let me speak to the first one. We have the three Bs. It’s called Believe, Become, and Belong. To believe means that you believe in that person that’s within you, that greatness, and all the potential that’s there waiting for you to tap into. The becoming is blossoming to that phoenix. The belonging is that community. We are not created to be a part, but to be together. We hash that out. You came up with the next thing, which is Ava’s Wellness Series. Speak about that.
I don’t want to take all the credit. It was a joint effort, but there’s something special about doing community outreach that’s accessible to everyone. I was a person who did not like yoga. I will not use a stronger word, but I didn’t like it for a long time until I connected with the yoga instructor. I found out how powerful it is when you have a wise older woman, in my case, who embraced centering around me and going through that pathway.
With Ava’s pathways, having a healing circle where women do an activity, they get centered physically and then are able to talk about the things in their lives in a much more profound way. I know that through yoga, we did writing exercises. The most profound thing that came out of me was, “I am not worthy.” What a game-changer. Something simple is chakra yoga. We’re doing a few poses. It’s 40 minutes. It wasn’t even that deep. I’m not an expert at yoga. Being in connection with myself and my physical body allowed me access to my mental state in my spirit.
Being connected with yourself and your physical body allows you to access your mental state in your spirit. Click To TweetLearning how to develop that vision that you have for your life, looking at the components of self-care, managing the stress, having that balance, and having that positive mental attitude to shut out the negativity. The whole point of the series is that we combine it. It’s a 90-minute series because we combine it with some form of physical activity and a group-facilitated discussion in a safe and welcoming environment for this to have those conversations to uncover those unbeliefs and those limiting beliefs that keep us from moving forward in a positive way and becoming that person that we can be.
Feminine Space
I love the way that we talk here. We started out with Ava’s Pathways, and we went to the three Bs. It’s all growing and building upon each other to different levels to help a person level up in their life because we want to break those barriers. I remember the conversations that we had back because it was discussing the fact that we live in an environment where women feel that they have to lose their femininity to belong, become, and believe in themselves.
You said, “That’s not the way it should be. We should still be able to live in our feminine space.” I’d like for you to speak more about that because the way you say it is you’re passionate and have the right words. I want you to tell me more about what that means and how we are trying to equate that here to Ava’s Pathways.
Standing in my feminine space, or divine feminine, if you’re into spirituality, is about authentically being me. Men and women have different vibrational expressions. Regardless of gender, when you sit in your feminine space, you are holding the collective. It’s not about being goal-oriented but that everything around you thrives.
That sense of selflessness is something of value in society. Society tells us, “You are to nurture this, that, or the other thing.” When you go out into business, you can’t be that person anymore. You need to be the masculine energy that drives business. What I found growing in my career is that there was not a big space for feminine leadership. It’s something that I’ve struggled with because I authentically come from that feminine space. I want people around me to succeed. I want to succeed myself, but I want to make sure that I’m not stepping on someone’s back to do it.
When you hold that space, you’re listening. You want to return in kind. You’re not strategizing to win. You’re strategizing to make the environment better for everyone. There’s not a lot of space in that. I have this altruistic view of things. I don’t feel like I fit in all the time because it’s about getting in line and being compliant with that masculine patriarchal order. There’s not a lot of space to be like, “We don’t have to behave like that.” Bullying is bad. Some of these negative aspects of masculine-based leadership need to be disrupted.
Women do not have to be compliant with the negative aspects of the patriarchal order. Disruption needs to happen today. Click To TweetYou hit it on the head there because I have had the experience where women take on the attitude that they have to be bullying or authoritative when that’s not necessary. It’s about collaborating and completing. We can collectively do something for the greater good. We get bogged down thinking that we have to become what we see instead of blazing our own trail to be the person that we can be, honoring our values and our beliefs.
That’s what we want to help people understand in Ava’s. You have these life challenges. You’re going to face these things as you progress in your journey. That doesn’t mean that you have to compromise what you believe and what you want to do to realize and achieve the desired outcomes that you want.
The bottom and the heart of it is finding your authentic voice and finding a way to be effective. You don’t have to yell or scream. You have to be in touch with what authentically is in you and find that courage to speak it. You’re going to have to speak a lot before somebody pays attention. Coming from that space of love, connectedness, and community is a foreign place oftentimes. We go out into the world, and everything that we’ve been told about loving and nurturing gets stepped on when we step outside of the space that we’ve been told is our box. I can love and nurture here, but I can’t be there. Why is it wrong there? That’s the workplace. That’s what men do. That was hard on my soul.
Life Challenges
I like to segue into it because one of the reasons that we have our organization is because of the life challenges and adversities that occur. Let’s speak to life challenges and adversities because we’re talking about different things here. We are not always saying that it’s about normal things. I think about the challenge that I had for several years.
I worked at a job where there was a good network. When I gave a solution, it was not even considered. When others gave a solution, it was like, “It was a good idea. Let’s get on that.” During those several years, I went through a divorce. I was in an abusive relationship. I had a business that failed. I had all these challenges that crowded me. At the same time, I still had to show up, be present, and put on a face.
Let’s face it. It wasn’t your face. To be grateful to sit at the table and be ignored is being dishonest to ourselves. There’s no other way to say it. I’ve watched it over in Corporate America. This is not about to be down about Corporate America because, in our private lives, that structure still exists. You look at it in the unfairness. How do we get past the unfairness we experience in our life? It still grows and prospers. It becomes integrity, authentic, and expresses love. Those are the things that drive me because those things seem to be inaccessible to me for the longest time. It was having my life cut down to the core.
Being grateful to sitting at the table only to be ignored is being dishonest to yourself. Click To TweetThat motivated me because I had two choices. I have a tickle in my throat. I’m not crying because of that. Why am I a little bit? I had two choices. I could give up and take what was given to me. It’s like having an idea stolen from you. Take what was given and be like, “Other people succeed in this life, not me.” I could fight for what I wanted. That was hard because my entire life, I was told that I wanted to get married and have kids. I wanted to go to college and have this job. I didn’t want a lot of that.
What do you want? That becomes a difficult thing. When you rebuild and have to deconstruct all that programming that you’ve had since childhood, you have to understand, like, “I’m here now. What of what is here? What is present? What do I like and resonate with? What doesn’t resonate with me? What would it take for me to change or let go of the things that don’t serve me?” That is hard because that is jobs, people, or family members. It could be a spouse. Those are difficult things to address and move forward from because those are all the things that want to pull you back.
We want to help the woman break through those layers to pick up and make up her own mind on what it is that she wants to do with her life. You’re not allowing the challenges and adversity to dictate the way that you have to go and not succumbing to those challenges and adversities where you become a victim of your environment. Instead, you change your environment. You are making it become what you want and need to be for you to move forward.
When I went through my divorce, a lot of the people that were in my circle when I was in that marriage. When I got through the divorce, they weren’t there anymore. You have to rebuild your circle. That goes to the belonging that we talked about earlier. How can we help you create a network that lifts you up? When you feel down, you can call someone or come to a group session and be open and honest about what’s bothering you. That’s what Ava is seeking to create those circles. Do you have something you want to add? Go ahead, Alice.
It’s the isolation that happens when your life burns down, whatever the circumstances, that brings you to a point where you have to make some drastic changes. You are isolated. What Ava’s is is that we are not going to provide a whole bunch of services. What we’re going to do is focus on yourself and your well-being. We will be connecting with other organizations that help in those avenues. They’re experts in those avenues and be that connector. Not everybody will have a mentor to be like, “I have a person for that. Call, so and so. They’ll help you out.” Our dream, as the organization grows, is to have a Rolodex of partners who are ready to receive women who are growing themselves and expanding who they are.
ELMORE Proprietary Program
We talked about Ava’s, the pathways, the three Bs, and the wellness series. Our next lineup is the Elmore Proprietary Coaching Program, which speaks to the six elements that help you move forward in your life. It’s a program that we have for several months. You’ll go through workshops and exercises to equip you. After that period, you’ll be set and ready with a plan to move forward.
What I love about Elmore is that the focus isn’t trying to make you a leader in business. The focus is about you centering around yourself, getting in touch with who you are, and finding the best way to express yourself authentically. This would be that course that you would take before you got into any leadership because it’s the finding of self that makes you the best leader you can be. You have to go through this first. Who am I? What would make me amazing out in the world? Not everybody wants to be a leader. Let’s say that first. You are a leader because you lead your own life. People align leadership with being a boss.
I want to help people dispel that myth. You are the leader of your life. At the end of the day, you are the driver. You’re not a yes person. Go ahead. What you’re saying is true.
You finished it up perfectly.
That’s why we’re part of this. We could tag team. Alice says to me all the time, and she’s always in my head, she says, “Slow and steady.” Those words resonate with me. That’s what Ava’s Pathways is about. The slow and steady progress you make to overcome and soar through and above that phoenix that’s coming out and that ashes of adversity and challenges to become your best self.
You’re not allowing the things that happen to you in the past or what’s going on around you to dictate who you can become. All those things are good. At the time, it doesn’t appear that way, but it’s helping to build that character and to equip you to be that resilient person that you need to be to soar through. I want to say soar because I believe everybody has wings. They’re supposed to keep soaring above and fly higher to new levels in their life.
Closing Words
I want to leave people with a couple of final thoughts. One is we talk so much about Ava’s Pathway that you might say, “They never say where we can even go to find out about Ava’s Pathways.” Ava’s Pathways is at AvasPathways.org. You can click on the links to our wellness series or any other programs that we offer because everything is tailored to help you. That woman becomes empowered to become the person that you’re supposed to be in this life, not allowing your life challenges and adversities to hold you back. Alice, what is the final thought you want to leave our readers?
A life lesson that I learned is that I needed mentors and a support system to make it through my adversities. That’s why I love this as an organization. It’s difficult to find those people in your life who will help you champion whatever it is that you want in your life. What drives me about this organization is that I had those people. I want to turn around and be part of an organization where we help give that person the confidence to champion what they need.
There are two quotes that stand out for me. Forgive me for not remembering the people, but they’re not my words. One is, “Stop beating on the wall where there’s no door intended.” That’s Coco Chanel. A lot of times, we keep beating against the wall, thinking that a door is going to be built and constructed there, and it’s not going to happen. You have to move on and find another way to go.
The other one that came to mind and there was a woman who said, “If they do not give you a seat at the table, you bring your own chair.” That’s what I want other women to understand. You don’t have to wait for someone to invite you to sit at that table. Bring your own chair and claim your own seat. Thank you, Alice. I’m looking forward to this venture because I’m excited. There’s a lot that we are going to do. I know that Ava’s is going to be impactful and make a difference in our communities.
Thank you for inviting me on your journey. This is amazing.
Until next time, everyone, for the next episode. Stay tuned, and we’ll see you again soon.
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About Alice Pryor
Co-Founder of Ava’s Pathways. Alice is a Business Relationship Manager BRMP, Author, Consultant and Speaker. She is a senior-level strategic business partner who shares ownership for developing business strategies incorporating business values.
